Real men don't eat quiche…

Today I was thinking about the phrase 'Real men don't…' and all the ideas of conformity that we follow. The book 'Real men don't eat quiche' by Bruce Feirstein characterises all that makes my stomach turn about conformity to the male stereotype. Peer pressure affects our children, being expected to conform to whatever stereotype their sub-culture demands, whether it's the type of music to listen to or the type of sneakers to wear.

The trouble is, I feel I have been locked into another stereotype. The stereotype Christian. Or maybe I should say the stereotype white English Evangelical Christian.

You may have read 'So you don't want to go to church anymore' by Wayne Jacobsen and Dave Coleman, if not I highly recommend it. However, what started me thinking about this was a phrase buzzing round my head all morning: 'Real Christians don't go to church'. Before you hang me for a heretic, listen to the logic…

My family name is Fairhead and there are times when we gather as a family. When we do we don't say we're going to Fairhead. So the concept of 'going to church' somehow separates the relationship into either a place or an organisation. I don't go to church because I gather with the church. But even that doesn't really work. It's more I don't go to church because implicitly I am part of the church.

But Paul commended us not to stop meeting together. So what does that really mean. We can look at the example of the early followers of Jesus and we would realise how important eating together and fellowship is in building the family relationships. We could look at Paul's letter explaining how the family works, with different family members each bringing something to the meeting…

I hear stories about family gatherings of different families and realise how many of the church meetings also show diversity. Some families when they get together make music or sing, for others the last thing on earth they would want to do is sing but they do enjoy a game of basketball or baseball, for others a hike in the woods is how they gather. Almost all would involve some form of meal together. Then there are dysfunctional families for whom a meeting is a battleground.

The same is true for gatherings of God's family. Or should be. My concern is that we have turned gatherings of Christians into some sort of socio-political organisation. The Bible records how the early believers ate together - frequently. Real Christians don't go to church: They church together - they are the church.