Why I Don't Go To Church Anymore: Living as a Relational follower of Jesus

For a few years now I have been getting increasingly bothered about 'church'. I started another blog to help me think through the issues. I felt that some of what I was writing there was somewhat negative and just recently came to the conclusion that for a while at least and maybe the rest of my life I will not 'go to church'. This was a positive decision bringing peace to what had been a troubled soul. But I have been getting tired of questions from well meaning believers who don't really understand. Having said that I am finding an increasing number of people who would call themselves 'followers of Jesus' in a similar position.

One person who has walked this path longer than many is Wayne Jacobsen and it was reading his explanation that made me decide two things:

• I would like to try to answer the same questions that he answered but for myself
• I needed to start a new blog that was positive about my walk with the Lord rather than questioning or maybe negative
  

So here goes... answering the same questions...

Where do you go to church?
I have been increasingly convinced that church should be seen as a verb rather than a noun. It's not a place, group or event but something we do together as followers of the Messiah. The Lord said 'Wherever there are two or three gathered together, I am there in their midst.' So whenever we meet as disciples or followers of Jesus we are churching together.

Hence I could answer the question 'Where do you go to church?' with the answer at the office, in a coffee shop, when I am out sailing, at my or someone else's home... and occasionally on a Sunday morning or evening at a building we call a church.

Are you just trying to avoid the question?
There are two parts to my answer to this:

There is an issue with language. Words change over time and are modified by people to mean different things. So the word 'church' would have had an idea behind it to the very first followers of Jesus, which might be very different to the idea that we have today. Because of that I understand that the question 'Where do you go to church?' has come to mean 'Where do you go on a Sunday morning and what do you believe?' It's almost a test question to see if I agree with your theology.

So by answering the question using the word church as a verb not a noun I am avoiding the meaning behind the question. But I chose to be one of a group of people worldwide who are seeing a new meaning to churching together emerging.

The second part of my answer relates to the original meaning of the word church as a noun that I believe we have in many ways lost. When Jesus used the phrase 'I will build my church and the gates of hell will not prevail against it' He obviously did not mean a red brick building seen in many English towns and cities. His meaning was related to a gathering of his disciples. What is notable about Jesus use of the word church is that he doesn't define it. We have taken that upon ourselves.

I think that Jesus would probably have answered the question 'Where do you go to church?' in a similar way to the way he answered those accusing the woman caught in the act of adultery. He would have continued drawing in the dirt and come up a clever comment that would have helped us see that church is not about a Sunday club or a structured fellowship event, but about our relationship with Him and with each other.

He might well have added 'Let him who has the perfect church invite you'.

But don't we need regular fellowship?
Absolutely, and in some ways that is the reason that I have ceased going to church. I need fellowship. I do not need to stand in rows singing songs and listen on someone talk about their interpretation of a book.

Fellowship is an essential part of walking the path of a disciple of Jesus. We can only do it in community.

There is also a second part to my answer to this question. If we meet three times a year for fellowship that is regular but infrequent. What I believe we need is not regular fellowship, but frequent fellowship.

Shouldn't we be committed to a local fellowship?
My problem with this question is the word 'a' local fellowship. I believe this causes division between those who follow Jesus. We end up boxing people in the way they answer the question 'Where do you go to church?' rather than seeking to fellowship with them in the locality.

So I strongly believe we should be committed to fellowship, both local and worldwide. My issue is with the institution of the 'church' as a structure being the core of how we fellowship together.

But don't our institutions keep us from error?
I wish that were true but it's not. They can keep us from error or they can lead us into error. Most of the major heresies through the ages have come out of an institution. In the end we are accountable to God, not to man. Man's structures often lead us astray.

So are traditional congregations wrong?
Don't get me wrong, there are many excellent groups of people who are linked together through some sort of structural church and who do share fellowship through that structure. I am linked with some in the UK. But that we must be committed to a single local structure that observably tends to be divisive in places I believe to be an error not seen in Scripture.

So should I stop going to church, too?
No, you are still missing how I see things. 'Going to church' or 'not going to church' is not the issue. The issue is how we relate to others who follow Jesus.

Then meeting in homes is the answer?
This question still looks at the structure rather than the relationship. I meet in homes, coffee shops, offices and many other places to church with people. The location is not the key, the relationship is the key.

Aren't you just reacting out of hurt?
Well, it is true that I have been hurt by structural churches, but I have also been blessed by them. It may be that I am reacting from hurt, but in this walk with Jesus I have, in recent times, changed and hence the change of blog. I am now looking at this as a positive step in my walk with the Messiah rather than a negative reaction.

Are you looking for the perfect church?
No, I am not looking for a structural church at all. I am looking for fellowship and relationships with people that help me to grow in my walk with the Lord. When I looked at my learning styles I did find that they did not match with almost any structural church, and I know there are others like me.

But don't our children need church activities?
The Sunday club we call church can provide excellent activities for children. They also tend to be almost parallels with school - we call them 'Sunday Schools'. I do not believe that school is good for all children.

We home-educated our children and for many families I believe this is better than school. Home-educated children tend to relate better to other children and adults. In the same way church activities for children can be a help or hindrance to our children. The key is that they do not need to know about God, they need to know God and introducing them to Him is better than teaching them about Him. He is, after all, our Father.

What dynamics of body life do you look for?
The question is one that is almost impossible to answer. I am looking to follow Jesus as He called us to. I am looking for authentic relationships with others who are on the journey, what form that will take can be as varied as those on the path.

Years ago I was told by some well meaning people that Heaven was like an eternal church service. It was almost enough to put me off following Jesus for good. Some people find God through them, others are not helped. I am looking for something that I can feel and react positively about.

Aren't you giving people an excuse to sit home and do nothing?
My experience with people who call themselves relational followers of Jesus is that they are more involved with others and with their community than less. Many who are tied into structural church are very involved with the activities of the church rather than with other people.

The aim is not to get people to events or meetings, but to introduce them into a living relationship with God the Father. That can only be done through relationship not sitting at home nor church activities.

Isn't this view of church divisive?
No, I think and see this to be less divisive than structural church. It allows us to relate to people without boxing them according to which place they go to on a Sunday morning!

Where can I find that kind of fellowship?
This question too suggests that the kind of fellowship is geographically located. I find it as I talk and walk with Jesus.